Comcast v. You= Ticketmaster v. Pearl Jam

Earlier tonight, "Helen" (she hates to be called that like I hate to be called "Rich," but it's my grandmother's name, so it amuses me) and I were talking about the obscenely, disproportionately high service fees of tickets and ticket agencies, and how they make socialism look bad because competition is almost nonexistent with regard to ticketing. Clearly, theoretically, as a staunch capitalist, I would not mind this entrepreneurial chutzpah. However, the immense, bald greed that cannot be obfuscated poisons the whole enterprise as far as I can tell. Ticketmaster and music venues, in collusion with the artist in question, sign an evil pact whereby concerts sell out, so owners of the halls or stadiums are happy, Ticketmaster is happy because it can withhold the artist like hostages under guns. & of course the artist is happy because he/she/they get an economical brand of Stockholm Syndrome, where they get to keep their vapid, indulgent lifestyle. In extremely rare cases, actual artists have to accept Ticketmaster simply as a necessary evil that lets them pursue their true inclinations.

In 1995, Pearl Jam tried valiantly, but ultimately failed, to loosen Ticketmaster's grip on the concert circuit. The band canceled its summer tour because the promoting conglomerate would not lower its service fees, which could go as high as $7.50. Nearly fifteen years later, this amount looks laughable when juxtaposed next to today's service fees, the cheapest of which still can surpass this "small" service fee. Btw, there was no actual "service" beyond entrance to the venue. Not until recently could you print out your tickets yourself. Of course, not until recently could you even consider tickets as flippantly as you do now. In a way, I'm almost grateful to the MS for curtailing my attendance to shows. Almost. I still have two more concerts this summer: The Dead Weather and Lolla-fucking-palooza. No, three: Pitchfork too. Two weekends ago, I came dangerously close to getting tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys at Metro, my favorite venue, but one still under the heavy thumb of Ticketmaster.

God it pisses me off... Just for getting me all riled up, Helen(i) may have to be dragged to these shows.

But why did I think of this? Today I waited for the cable guy to show up and install both cable television and wireless Internet. Lo and behold, even though they (I say "they" because it was the main guy and his trainee, who was unsettlingly older than his mentor) showed up reasonably within the four-hour parameters that they gave me, which they ignored twice a year ago and which prompted me to "punish" them by patronizing the nauseatingly inferior RCN, Comcast still sucks. It's reliably unreliable. Our remote controls aren't very universal, the wireless router simply doesn't work, and its DVR is also evidently useless. Even as I write this, I have to use someone else's connection. Luckily, they haven't figured out how to password-protect their connection, or they're RCN customers.

Think about that, though: I'm looking at our wireless router right now, and all it does is sit there, motionlessly mocking me. But I've switched before, and suffered for it. Now I just lie down and accept the abuse, like Tina Turner back when she was only Anna Mae Bullock.

So brace yourself, LNE: you have to suffer through Lollapalooza because I have to accept Comcast. Sure, they're both about me (sort of--you should really be obsessed with Bat for Lashes, who's also playing, and Lou Reed deserves a listen from everyone), but someone else has to wince at least, just a little. Plus, I have yet to get you hooked on "True Blood," which I fear is going down the same sensationalistic death march as "Lost," which I never really liked anyway.

But I don't mean to digress.

Rick