Atheism: Be Not Afraid

I've mentioned this before, but some Chicago buses now display ads on their sides that say, "In the Beginning, Man Created God." Now, any non-cartoonish atheist will tell you that these ads only serve as provocations which make many a militant Christian salivate with the opportunity of violent rebuttal they see.

This is not to say that all Christians see atheism as a threat that must be stamped out quickly and irrevocably. Instead, these reportedly sane Christians often condescendingly say, "Oh, you'll come around." Such patronizing sentiments are as provocative as those annoying bus ads, and atheists have had to endure such claptrap for most of their lives, if they're anything like I am.

I was raised in a cloyingly Catholic household that became more contentious as I entered puberty. Obviously, my lopsided anger can be attributed to hormones and all of that, but only a bit. It is incredibly frustrating to be made to go to church when you scoff at most of the dogma preached during Mass (remember, I was raised Catholic). And the sermons/homilies...Ambien would be out of business if this were a theocracy. Luckily, and much to the chagrin of proselytizing baboons, it is not.

I can understand some of the angry atheists, who had to be force-fed such inanity, but they're missing the point. Eventually, this anger gets mixed up in theological arguments which, in themselves, are vapid. Many people probably cringe whenever they pass "God Is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens in a bookstore (if they can read at all--just kidding). They see every dissenting view on their religion as a personal attack. It is not, unless you're a politician who insists on legislating by the book, and I don't mean "Robert's Rules of Order." No, many of America's current problems exist because numerous politicians want to govern by the Bible, which would be manifoldly stupid and actually quite dangerous.

Evelyn Waugh actually did atheism a huge disservice by having that previously-unbelieving patriarch convert on his deathbed in "Brideshead Revisited." Sure, death terrifies humans, but the inescapable fact of mortality should not, naturally, be associated with theistic avowal. He sucked anyway, and the aforementioned novel is bad too, so I don't get too worked up over his thoughts on the afterlife and atheism, etc.

Not to digress too much, but can't we dispense with the term "atheist"? It sounds very ominous, even though the etymology means simply, "without a god." Not your god, or, more explicitly, "God." No god/God. That's it. Why do Christians and Muslims insist, vigorously and vociferously, that their "God" is the best, and the only one? I could cite numerous, endless really, instances of ugliness born of these religions, which actually fight each other? It seems crazy to me that bloodlust overrides piety.

So I don't believe in god/God. So what? I'm not spitting in your face, which many believers, I'm sure, would ironically love to do to me. I agree that those bus signs are infuriating. They anger me, and I'm a supposed heretic who doesn't believe in God/a god/a God.

Many atheists cite Occam's Razor for their unbelief, and this is massively stupid. The simplest explanation, they do not realize, for their own existence, and that of the whole cosmos, involves one old man with superior intelligence. In fact, the universe is an endlessly complicated place, and none among us knows much about it.

One has to be careful when talking like this, because people will say, "So really, you're an agnostic, not an atheist." Again with the condescension... No, do not misunderstand me: I don't think there's no God, I know there's no God. How can I be so sure? Well, the known history of the world, thus far, agrees with me. We know of atoms and quasars and pathogens and so on. Nowhere in these very real things does "God" appear. I don't think I have to tell you why. Also, I don't believe in many other primitive, pre-Copernican ideas. The concept of "God" is merely a tradition, albeit a preternaturally tenacious one, born of humans' inability to deal with the finality of death.

And another thing: that whole "seeing's not believing, believing's seeing" aphorism is galatically stupid, simplistic, and has all of the intellectual weight of a nursery rhyme. It's such an arrogant assertion, to which I want to scream, "NO! SEEING IS BELIEVING!"

Still, even though I have to endure a constant barrage of condescension, I too am smart enough to loathe those bus banners while simultaneously agreeing with their point. How's that for impartiality? I do not want to convert anyone, so leave me alone.

I'll leave you alone (aside from the occasional snicker) in turn, and even join with you in hating those obnoxious bus signs. Know, though, that I also feel the same disdain for your Jesus-fish decal.

R