I articulated my views on God and other tangential mythologies while I was in rehab in Maryland. There, we had to recognize a "higher power," and I thought this was a stupid, pointless, and ultimately fatalistic exercise. For most people, who, as I petulantly thought, had drunk the Kool-Aid, this was easy. They only had to say "God," and that was that. Unfortunately, I dismissed this as so much insanity that I wouldn't deign to acknowledge. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and let their delusions wash over me.
I say I was "petulant," which connotes childishness, not because I dismissed such ridiculous theology, but because I said nothing to contradict the insanity I faced. Some would probably interpret this as honorable and mature. Let's get serious, though. A few crazy Christians may act okay with non-belief, but really they hide their supercilious air of superiority and privileged absurd "knowledge." It drives me insane when someone looks at me condescendingly and says something like, "You'll come around." No, asshole--you're a mindless sheep without a brain or hint of intellectual curiosity in your sieve-like head. I don't believe in any of your bullshit. I emphatically will not drink the Kool-Aid. Furthermore, they need to be argued with, because a) discourse would confuse them and b) their claim to moral superiority is both arrogant and directly insulting.
Earlier, I was watching The Godfathers, and was struck by the cloying religious overtones. At the same time, such instances were interspersed with episodes of violence and blood. It's important to note that the two episodes had nothing to do with the other, besides the obvious moral hypocrisy constantly voiced by proponents of religion. They then advocate, and have advocated, massive campaigns of subjective (I'm being gracious) totalitarianism. It is such a cliche, but that doesn't mean it's wrong--innumerable deaths can be attributed to a, so I was taught, all-benevolent, all-knowing, infallible, and invisible deity. "That's man, though," might be the objection, with nary a hint of consideration of their beloved Ark. Or the annihilation of the citizens of Sodom & Gomorrah, whose most glaring crime was the objectionable (to them) practice of homosexuality, and who've been caricatured in our minds and the media. Lest we forget, we are the supreme culture that keeps visual lobotomies like Jerry Springer, Two and a Half Men, and Flavor of Love on the air. I watched Idiocracy and thought, "Is this supposed to be a parody?" To me, it looked like more of a documentary.
Before, I've stated that I'm an atheist, but this is not accurate enough. In rehab, I encountered the question of what I believed in constantly. Well, I'll tell you. I believe in what I can see, feel, hear, touch, and smell. That's what I "believe" in. The concept of faith comes up whenever I say this, and I can't help but laugh at the specious untruths of empty platitudes like "Believing is seeing."
However, I'm not simply an atheist. I am more of a non-theist. I'm not so concerned with convincing anyone that there is no "God," because that perpetrates the concept. "God" is such a primitive notion that I cannot even consider it as a valid one. I said then (in Maryland), and I say it now--I don't even think about a "God." There is too much beauty, both in nature and in the minds of others who ironically probably believe(d) in a "God," that to credit an invisible guy in the sky would diminish the accomplishments of the very real human(s) that deserve the attention and recognition.
One thing that drives me nuts is the glib criticism that to contradict religion, one invariably ends up quoting religious "literature." Yes, it's true. Someone could also cite numerous scientific facts, but the most effective way to illustrate absurdity is to use the same blunt tool as the faithful. For Christians, this means the Bible. I guarantee that nobody who takes it seriously even considers how patronizing it is to call the first and second halves "Old" and "New." If I were Jewish, I'd be pissed. I guess, though, that silence is golden, for the most part, for them--not in the Middle East, though.
Another thing that confounds me is the sadistic pleasure that one of the "faithful" feels when confronted with opposition or aversion of any kind. Someone may not say anything, but you can see and feel the smile that they have in the pit of their stomach. (That's if they're polite.) Such a smug provocation would not occur on a darkened street, I'm sure.
I wish that religious fanatics, overt or quiet, would have to deal with an arbitrary spate of violence. Something tells me that martyrdom is a concept that they would not tolerate. They shouldn't, because it is another dumb notion.
Conversely, converting out of fear would make it impossible for me to look in a mirror. I'm not going to convert out of fear, like Constantine did on his deathbed, and hopehopehope for a divine cure for my MS. Shit happens, like the bumper sticker says, and you/I have to roll with the setbacks.
I sure as hell won't be bored weekly for an hour (if you're lucky) in church and hope for a divine resolution that won't come.
R
